Saturday, December 4, 2021

Is that a horse in a Walmart? You bet it is

If you’re one of the people who brought a horse to Walmart to get checked out, you may have noticed something different. After the health inspector was done and the horse was put in a carrier, the horse was left for everybody to eat. Yes, you read that right.

The horse in question was treated with a “food service pesticide,” and was served up to all of us at Walmart, whether we wanted to eat it or not. According to CNW Marketing, a food safety expert, horse degruzer is a supermarket buy that comes with a message warning that if you eat the horse you could catch a fungal infection and/or an illness.

But we didn’t read the labels carefully or pay heed to warnings. Because we’re all Walmart customers, now we have to deal with that horse fate. It’s even worse than a horse in a carriage (not to worry, that happened in New York). Apparently this one was infected because people were clearly playing around and that infected horse ate horse food. Yeah, it sounds terrible, but it’s still a mystery as to what happened.

To make things worse, the horse must have broken out of its shipment, maybe even over the last six months. It was probably dumped into the shipment and people don’t like loose horses, so the horse was kept there and wasn’t treated. Once the horse was brought to Walmart, it was clearly underfed and sick and immediately sent to the slaughterhouse for sale.

Walmart said “this was simply not our best use of the horse meat,” which is a very sad excuse to be the dead horse of the week. There’s a chance this horse had some dental problems and had gotten wind of the DEA on the border! Walmart buys its pharmaceuticals from 10 different wholesalers and supply for a variety of reasons and, needless to say, none of these reasons had anything to do with dangerous strains of bacteria in farm animals.

This is terrible news, and it’s just one of countless ways Walmart has the lowest prices. We bought ten bags of diet cola for 25 cents, and now there are 50 bags of cheap horse dewormer out of stock at Walmart. You’re going to do what we’re going to do, hope Walmart is honest and lists the price correctly.

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